what happens when people couldn't read u?
But they pretend they could read everything in ur mind...
They keep an eye on everything u do.. and decide whether it's right or wrong... (most is wrong actually.. :P)
especially for this unpredictable one...
not interested in singing my songs... not interested in telling the world what really going on in my head...
just wanna say.. please stop guessing... u'll just gonna walk even further from the truth..
it's a fact, that perception can never be wrong.. but it can be inaccurate.. :P
keep fighting with them (that smart looking people -or smart pretender-) is a fool choice...
and I'm seemingly a fool...
or maybe in their eyes I'm a dirty fool one...
but go ahead, People! Guess and decide ur mind, if it could make u satisfied!
u are satisfied, aren't u?
u are happy out there, aren't u?
then stand on ur position.. and hold on ur opinion...
I'll be just fine..
someone whispers..
'stop this stupid war.. u're not in a same league...'
then I realized something...
'baka mitai...'* ^^
*in this phrase means.. 'how fool I am'.. :P
--Ojou--
(living room - Wednesday, December 23, 2009 - 10:56 AM)
Minggu, 27 Desember 2009
a twenty first...
21st... yang sudah lama kelewatan.. saya pikir cuma pergantian umur sperti yg sebelumnya (well, secara selebrasi, kado, dsb dsb kyagna emg sama :P)
but I never know.. that 21st could be so complicated...
I'm just a human with all my weakness when I turned to 21st.. (ga ad yg salah kan? every human have their own weakness :P)
I'm okay with that (I really am), guess I dont need to change it, or even if it's needed, I'm not sure I can
But God has another plan...
and that perfect plan made just for me... hows that plan feels like?
well..
feels like having a hard slap in my face when I was sleeping, make me awake with a half of my consciousness...
like I have to run when I'm not sure I can walk properly...
like send me out of my comfort cave without notification and take me to a whole new place where I should learn from (almost) zero (with all my mistakes :P)
like point out all my wrong in a harsh way.. fiuuuhh... (mungkin memang harus begitu.. :P)
like giving me a whole month assignment, and I just have a week to finish it... then next week I should be ready for the exam ,, T__T
in a way...
in other way...
God also send me 'A Special Someone'... hahahahay, yang belum tentu dikirimkan ke semua org, :P
the extra ordinary one..
the one that have completely (apa absolutely ya.. wkwkwk :P) different personality with me.. hahhahay.. thanks God analogi membantu :P
the one that raise me up, when I let myself down...
the one that trust me even when I didnt trust my self...
its always strange, when I think bout everything from the beginning
but however... for that certain someone, I'll always be thankful ^^
and for u my dear one, a neverending thanks... ^^
I believe (at least) there's something wait for me in d future, dont need to ask why, cz I'm sure I'll find d answer, little by little... :P
All I need right now is a faith to keep me stand as tall as I can, a stronger shoulder for carry a heavier burden, and a greater soul >,<
the 21st not gonna end yet (masih lamaa...)
there are still many lessons to learn...
there are still many assignment to do...
there are still many times to make myself better...
there are still many limited chance to change...
But I know, there's no need to worry...
I already have an angel as my companion ^^ (please help me get through these.. onegai shimasu >,<)
and above all I have my Greatest God
XDD
Its a long way to go.. and
strangely, for my whole life I've never feel this lucky... XDD
--Ojou--
(living room - Wednesday, November 25, 2009 - 1:40 AM)
but I never know.. that 21st could be so complicated...
I'm just a human with all my weakness when I turned to 21st.. (ga ad yg salah kan? every human have their own weakness :P)
I'm okay with that (I really am), guess I dont need to change it, or even if it's needed, I'm not sure I can
But God has another plan...
and that perfect plan made just for me... hows that plan feels like?
well..
feels like having a hard slap in my face when I was sleeping, make me awake with a half of my consciousness...
like I have to run when I'm not sure I can walk properly...
like send me out of my comfort cave without notification and take me to a whole new place where I should learn from (almost) zero (with all my mistakes :P)
like point out all my wrong in a harsh way.. fiuuuhh... (mungkin memang harus begitu.. :P)
like giving me a whole month assignment, and I just have a week to finish it... then next week I should be ready for the exam ,, T__T
in a way...
in other way...
God also send me 'A Special Someone'... hahahahay, yang belum tentu dikirimkan ke semua org, :P
the extra ordinary one..
the one that have completely (apa absolutely ya.. wkwkwk :P) different personality with me.. hahhahay.. thanks God analogi membantu :P
the one that raise me up, when I let myself down...
the one that trust me even when I didnt trust my self...
its always strange, when I think bout everything from the beginning
but however... for that certain someone, I'll always be thankful ^^
and for u my dear one, a neverending thanks... ^^
I believe (at least) there's something wait for me in d future, dont need to ask why, cz I'm sure I'll find d answer, little by little... :P
All I need right now is a faith to keep me stand as tall as I can, a stronger shoulder for carry a heavier burden, and a greater soul >,<
the 21st not gonna end yet (masih lamaa...)
there are still many lessons to learn...
there are still many assignment to do...
there are still many times to make myself better...
there are still many limited chance to change...
But I know, there's no need to worry...
I already have an angel as my companion ^^ (please help me get through these.. onegai shimasu >,<)
and above all I have my Greatest God
XDD
Its a long way to go.. and
strangely, for my whole life I've never feel this lucky... XDD
--Ojou--
(living room - Wednesday, November 25, 2009 - 1:40 AM)
my thanks to...
God, I dont know whether I deserve to receive it or not,
but thank you...
for everything u gave to me, thank you
for every heart beat, thank you
for every second to stay alive, thank you
for many changes and miracles, thank you
for sending such an angel to accompany me, thank you
for giving me shoulders that grow even stronger, thank you
for taking care of my soul, thank you
for showing me myself, thank you
for take me to where I belong, thank you
for never letting me down, thank you
for keep loving me (yea, I know U love me souw much ^^) even if I'm just a sinner, a great thank you
and please forgive me God, for I've been never thankful enough...
--Ojou--
(at livingroom - Wednesday, November 25, 2009 - 12:17 AM)
but thank you...
for everything u gave to me, thank you
for every heart beat, thank you
for every second to stay alive, thank you
for many changes and miracles, thank you
for sending such an angel to accompany me, thank you
for giving me shoulders that grow even stronger, thank you
for taking care of my soul, thank you
for showing me myself, thank you
for take me to where I belong, thank you
for never letting me down, thank you
for keep loving me (yea, I know U love me souw much ^^) even if I'm just a sinner, a great thank you
and please forgive me God, for I've been never thankful enough...
--Ojou--
(at livingroom - Wednesday, November 25, 2009 - 12:17 AM)
Take a Deep Breath, Honey...
read something,, and I'm like getting a punch in my heart,,
what a pathetic gurl,,,
I should've been mad,,, so angry,, or upset,,,
its more easier,, isnt it?
I'm a human,, with my own free will,,,
dont try to judge me, cz who do u think u r?
Please forgive me God,, for I have sinned
but I believe U always know the truth,,
And I believe that I always have U,,
So I'll just take a deep breath,,,
doesn't matter now, cz I dont care,,
NO TRUST,,,
NO REASONING,,,
NO MORE TO SAY,,,
(my room - Saturday, October 10, 2009 - 12:00 PM)
what a pathetic gurl,,,
I should've been mad,,, so angry,, or upset,,,
its more easier,, isnt it?
I'm a human,, with my own free will,,,
dont try to judge me, cz who do u think u r?
Please forgive me God,, for I have sinned
but I believe U always know the truth,,
And I believe that I always have U,,
So I'll just take a deep breath,,,
doesn't matter now, cz I dont care,,
NO TRUST,,,
NO REASONING,,,
NO MORE TO SAY,,,
(my room - Saturday, October 10, 2009 - 12:00 PM)
End of Hope...
U can call me crazy if u want,,
But this feeling is real,,
This memory is real,,
This bond is real,,
n he,,, is real
U can call me stupid for,,
Keep searching,,
Keep praying,,
Keep hoping,, n
Keep believing,,
that he,, will come back
someday,,
Tonight,,
he is right there,,
in front of me,,
standing tall
that face,,
that hair,,
that voice,, n
that eyes,,
all are d same
But when I look closer,,
this feeling,,
this memory,,
this bond,,
n him,,
with the water run down my cheeks
I know,,
He'll never be d same,,
And all d searches, beliefs, prays, n hopes,,
ends here.
(my room, Sunday, June the 7th 2009 - 12:59 AM)
But this feeling is real,,
This memory is real,,
This bond is real,,
n he,,, is real
U can call me stupid for,,
Keep searching,,
Keep praying,,
Keep hoping,, n
Keep believing,,
that he,, will come back
someday,,
Tonight,,
he is right there,,
in front of me,,
standing tall
that face,,
that hair,,
that voice,, n
that eyes,,
all are d same
But when I look closer,,
this feeling,,
this memory,,
this bond,,
n him,,
with the water run down my cheeks
I know,,
He'll never be d same,,
And all d searches, beliefs, prays, n hopes,,
ends here.
(my room, Sunday, June the 7th 2009 - 12:59 AM)
ordinary.. today...
Location: Still in my Livingroom..
Time and Date: Sunday, December the 27th 2009 - 07:54 PM (Hanoi; Bangkok; Jakarta)
Listening: Don't Stay Away by Elliot Yamin
Reading: my brothers homework =_=a
Watching: AVATAR (not finished yet T^T)
Eating: rice + soup + omelette
Drinking: Rinku' s mineral water
Today should be a holiday.. but from this morning.. I have to go to Rinku's house to finish our assignment. Fiuuh.. I never believe that Sunday could be effective to do some assignment, but however, it works.. haha..
So, I wake up late this morning, at 8.00 AM, and I dont have time for breakfast. But I still try to put a plate of rice and a fried egg before I go. I know they will be angry to me if I dont have my breakfast, coz last month I got serious stomachache and I should rest in hospital. for.. err.. 3 days.. :p. Well, I should learn from that harsh warning actually.. but it's kinda habitual for me.. hehe..
Now, let me tell you my situation. Here I am in my living room, with 4 cousins and my aunt. two of them (my cousins) are doing their homework.. they have difficulties in doing their homework, but I think they are not trying hard enough to do it.. they just too lazy to read. It's an English homework, and they think I'm good in this major (stupid thinking.. I'm still a newbie, however :p). sometimes they make me mad as hell, when they start acting too much, start to act so silly, and didn't pay attention to their homework.. what can I do, they are just a boys (yeah, both of them are boys, actually I have 7 cousins, 5 of them are male, and the rest are female ^^)
I feel glad if I could help them finish their work, or when they feel difficult. But sometimes, they just use me to finish their job.. hey, that's not a good education for children right.. :p
There are many voices in my head, maybe its because all my undone assignment.. gosh, if only I have someone to finish it, I really dont have a drive to do it.. (damn, this laziness is a curse!! T^T). However, I'm still trying to work on it, little by little... well, something big start with little step, rite? hohohoho.. that's just my excuse..
Mr. Mario Teguh said that 'we use a same time to win and lose'.. huft, every time I think bout it, I feel a headache.. for what did I use my time? win or lose? I still trying to make it as a winning (God help me pleaseee.... T^T)
guess that's all my pain and sorrow for today (hahahagz.. so drama queen :p)..
I'll c u again..
still.. searching for life,
--Ojou--
Time and Date: Sunday, December the 27th 2009 - 07:54 PM (Hanoi; Bangkok; Jakarta)
Listening: Don't Stay Away by Elliot Yamin
Reading: my brothers homework =_=a
Watching: AVATAR (not finished yet T^T)
Eating: rice + soup + omelette
Drinking: Rinku' s mineral water
Today should be a holiday.. but from this morning.. I have to go to Rinku's house to finish our assignment. Fiuuh.. I never believe that Sunday could be effective to do some assignment, but however, it works.. haha..
So, I wake up late this morning, at 8.00 AM, and I dont have time for breakfast. But I still try to put a plate of rice and a fried egg before I go. I know they will be angry to me if I dont have my breakfast, coz last month I got serious stomachache and I should rest in hospital. for.. err.. 3 days.. :p. Well, I should learn from that harsh warning actually.. but it's kinda habitual for me.. hehe..
Now, let me tell you my situation. Here I am in my living room, with 4 cousins and my aunt. two of them (my cousins) are doing their homework.. they have difficulties in doing their homework, but I think they are not trying hard enough to do it.. they just too lazy to read. It's an English homework, and they think I'm good in this major (stupid thinking.. I'm still a newbie, however :p). sometimes they make me mad as hell, when they start acting too much, start to act so silly, and didn't pay attention to their homework.. what can I do, they are just a boys (yeah, both of them are boys, actually I have 7 cousins, 5 of them are male, and the rest are female ^^)
I feel glad if I could help them finish their work, or when they feel difficult. But sometimes, they just use me to finish their job.. hey, that's not a good education for children right.. :p
There are many voices in my head, maybe its because all my undone assignment.. gosh, if only I have someone to finish it, I really dont have a drive to do it.. (damn, this laziness is a curse!! T^T). However, I'm still trying to work on it, little by little... well, something big start with little step, rite? hohohoho.. that's just my excuse..
Mr. Mario Teguh said that 'we use a same time to win and lose'.. huft, every time I think bout it, I feel a headache.. for what did I use my time? win or lose? I still trying to make it as a winning (God help me pleaseee.... T^T)
guess that's all my pain and sorrow for today (hahahagz.. so drama queen :p)..
I'll c u again..
still.. searching for life,
--Ojou--
Sabtu, 26 Desember 2009
My Memory...
Location: My living room
Time and Date: Saturday, 26 December 2009 - 11:27 PM (Hanoi; Bangkok; Jakarta)
Listening: Fragile Heart by Westlife
Reading: nothing serious ^^
Watching: The Holiday
Eating: nothing for supper
Drinking: Dancow coklat :P
Well... so, this blog is about my memory... that's why the title is 'Boku no Memory' (means 'My Memory' :P). Maybe strange why should I write my memory down in a blog. People usually write something useful in a blog, rite? such as, information, entertainment, or anything that can be useful for someone read it. Well, sorry if this blog make u disappointed, cz it's nothing but my own-unimportant-memory.. hahahagz ^^
Feeling like u're not gonna have something important or interesting in this blog? well, I suggest u to close this blog, and start looking for another more-interesting-blog out there.. ^^
Okey, memory start I guess..
hmm.. now, I'm a college student, struggling to graduate as soon as I can (not struggling actually.. I have problems with my laziness, less drive, and anything that makes me not interesting in doing my assignment -or important thing-). In fact, I writing this blog, while I should be doing my assignment, and it should be done by tomorrow, what a respectful girl I am.. haha :P. No problem, promise I'll finish it.. (dont know when.. ^^)
then.. I really love cats, reading and drawing manga, watch anime and movies, I like music a lot (but I have to be picky in Indonesian songs.. sorry ^^), dont like cleaning my house, oh.. and I like Japan a lot!! Japanese culture, language, people, anything.. just anything... hehehe..
I'm 21 years old, and seems like my life become so complicated in this age (its not like my life is not complicated at all.. its already complicated, but even worse). Many things happen, and looks like I'm not ready enough to accept this, and I guess the timing just not right. However.. I couldn't be smarter than God, so.. there's gotta something behind this mess in my 21st.. hahaha.. and I'm gonna find it..
still about me.. (cz..hey,this is my memory.. :P), I'm just an ordinay girl I guess, I'm not type of girl that will make anyone turn their head on while I'm passing, I'm not kind of girl that can make time go slower while people staring at me, if someone talk to me, they might think that I'm approachable.. but that's fine ^^.
However, Im not that simple (ask my friend if u dont believe it, she knows me 3 years, and still think that I'm complicated, haha :D), I cant explain it.. I'm just complicated, thats all ^^.
I think, its enough for now..
I'll c u again..
Searching for Life
--Oujo--
Time and Date: Saturday, 26 December 2009 - 11:27 PM (Hanoi; Bangkok; Jakarta)
Listening: Fragile Heart by Westlife
Reading: nothing serious ^^
Watching: The Holiday
Eating: nothing for supper
Drinking: Dancow coklat :P
Well... so, this blog is about my memory... that's why the title is 'Boku no Memory' (means 'My Memory' :P). Maybe strange why should I write my memory down in a blog. People usually write something useful in a blog, rite? such as, information, entertainment, or anything that can be useful for someone read it. Well, sorry if this blog make u disappointed, cz it's nothing but my own-unimportant-memory.. hahahagz ^^
Feeling like u're not gonna have something important or interesting in this blog? well, I suggest u to close this blog, and start looking for another more-interesting-blog out there.. ^^
Okey, memory start I guess..
hmm.. now, I'm a college student, struggling to graduate as soon as I can (not struggling actually.. I have problems with my laziness, less drive, and anything that makes me not interesting in doing my assignment -or important thing-). In fact, I writing this blog, while I should be doing my assignment, and it should be done by tomorrow, what a respectful girl I am.. haha :P. No problem, promise I'll finish it.. (dont know when.. ^^)
then.. I really love cats, reading and drawing manga, watch anime and movies, I like music a lot (but I have to be picky in Indonesian songs.. sorry ^^), dont like cleaning my house, oh.. and I like Japan a lot!! Japanese culture, language, people, anything.. just anything... hehehe..
I'm 21 years old, and seems like my life become so complicated in this age (its not like my life is not complicated at all.. its already complicated, but even worse). Many things happen, and looks like I'm not ready enough to accept this, and I guess the timing just not right. However.. I couldn't be smarter than God, so.. there's gotta something behind this mess in my 21st.. hahaha.. and I'm gonna find it..
still about me.. (cz..hey,this is my memory.. :P), I'm just an ordinay girl I guess, I'm not type of girl that will make anyone turn their head on while I'm passing, I'm not kind of girl that can make time go slower while people staring at me, if someone talk to me, they might think that I'm approachable.. but that's fine ^^.
However, Im not that simple (ask my friend if u dont believe it, she knows me 3 years, and still think that I'm complicated, haha :D), I cant explain it.. I'm just complicated, thats all ^^.
I think, its enough for now..
I'll c u again..
Searching for Life
--Oujo--
Langganan:
Postingan (Atom)