a stupid daughter.. and oh, its 2010 !!!

Location : on my bed
Date and Time: Friday, January the 1st 2010, 10:51 PM (Bangkok, Hanoi, Jakarta)
Listening: 'Remember When it Rain' by Josh Groban
Wacthing: Superman Returns
Reading: tutorial Adobe Pgotoshop CS
Eating: D'Creepes toping pisang keju
Drinking: Dancow susu coklat

Nite everyone..
1st of all.. I wanna say, Happy Nu Year 2010... ^^
I'm gonna miss 2009 for sure,, but hate it as well.. banyak hal yg sangat precious di 2009, dan banyak hal yang bikin marah, jengkel, sedih, tapi for 2009, I'll always be grateful ^^
Then.. 2010 it is, sudah menyiapkan resolusi? I'm not, soalnya resolusi saya kmaren banyak yg ga tercapai.. maybe I'm just gonna make a wish and try my best..

By the way...
I'm not in a good shape while I'm writing this blog. Well, I guess I'm just gonna write it, its my memory however :P. Its about my mother.
Well, let me explain a little about her. I'm sure, semua orang akan menganggap ibu mereka adalah orang yang hebat, dan saya termasuk orang-orang itu. Ibu saya adalah seseorang yang hebat, she works for us, nite and day.. 24 hours 7 days..she never think about herself.. it's always her family comes first. Caring, strong, independent, and beautiful.

Its too bad for her, mungkin Tuhan memang tidak adil.. she has a daughter like me. For sure, I never think I could be good enough for her.. I thought that I do nothing but always make her disapointed, I've done nothing if u asked me..

fuaah.. this tears.. is it really necessary, what did I cried for?
My mother even doubt whether I love her or not.. haha, am I look so ignorant? am I look like a super rebels?
what should I say, Okaa-sama.. I love u.. I love u so much it's almost painful... this unspeakable love... I'm sorry.. I wish I could make u believe... cinta itu ada, dan sangat besar.. hingga tidak mampu membentuk kata...

Moncy said I'm precious, that everyone will be very thankful to have me in their life.. ahh.. Moncy, she's such a great best friend I've ever had.. (that's why I feel thankful for 2009, cz I have her in 2009).
Am I really that precious? Can't lie that I really doubt about it...

I'm a stupid daughter, am I? I realize it recently..
we cant choose our parents.. we take them for granted.. and as a child we should always be grateful to them, for giving us birth, love, and many things we have.. that's why we cant ask for perfectness.. they do their best and they're perfect in their way...
but we, as a child.. is their hope (especially me, for I'm their only child..). They put their highest dream on us..praying, wishing, hoping... doing their best.. a child should be perfect for their parents...
and all I do is nothing but make them sad...

I cant say nothing but sorry... a deeply sorry Okaa-sama... I'm sorry for I can never be your best.. but I sure try...
and I just want u to know... that I love u... I love u... and for a thousands time.. I'm gonna love u till the end...
I'm sorry... and thank you... always...

searching or life,
--Oujo--